Oh, Thierry Mugler, you crazy Frenchman!  I love you and your olfactory genius!  I love Angel, I love Innocent , and now I love Womanity!

However, this is a love that, at first, did not seem meant to be. Let's go back in time to a few months ago, a time before my nose had ever touched this fragrance and my knowledge of Womanity was based purely on press releases and preliminary product reviews.  In spite of loving Mugler's other creations and a consistently concerted effort not to formulate opinions about scents I've yet to smell,  I hated almost everything I knew about Womanity from the first moment I read about it.

Let's start with the name: Womanity. What? Really, Thierry? When someone asks me what I'm wearing, I'm going to have to say that ridiculous "word" out loud? Yeah, no. I'm not doing that.

Then we have Womanity's ridiculous "bond between women" brand messaging -  I'm convinced there's an army of ad executives somewhere that are still working on replacing all the pants they ruined when they forced this campaign so hard they shit themselves. I'm extremely insulted by the entire concept and its components: 

• An "artsy" product website covered in platitudes submitted by "real" women with music I'm either supposed to use as a yoga backdrop or a soundtrack to a tear-filled epiphany about my vagina
• A separate Womanity "ambassador" site with a ridiculous splash page (REALLY? A SPLASH page? In 2010? ) plastered with a trio of  women holding the world's most unintentionally scary Halloween masks – women that I'm pretty sure would also like to advise me on yeast infection treatments, tampons, and what to do when I get that not-so-fresh feeling
• The overall presumption that women don't already have a bond, and that Thierry Mugler himself is the only one who can see this travesty and fix it – with perfume

The notes in Womanity are simply said to be caviar, fig, and fig wood, and early reviewers actually described the top note as being somewhat fishy which nearly sent me over the edge for reasons that should be obvious. Luckily for Thierry, my going over the edge would never affect him in the least and even if it magically did, I didn't completely fly off the deep end because:

•  The bottle with its kick ass Gigeresque embellishment is crazy awesome and -
•  Thierry Mugler is responsible for two of my favorite olfactory creations in the universe so I felt compelled to give him the benefit of the doubt until I smelled this perfume for myself.

Now let's fast-forward to 3 days ago when Megan finally caught me in a moment when I wasn't already doused in another perfume. She had me try on the Womanity she received in the form of a deluxe sample from a Mugler rep. and what can I say? I LOVE IT.

There's absolutely nothing fishy about it – the caviar note manifests itself in the form of the fleeting essence of a salty sea spray that almost immediately melds itself with the sweet, rich aroma of figs.  The heart delivers on Mugler's attempt to create a fragrance that is both savory and sweet, and the "caviar" note's transformation to just plain salt adds a dimension to the fragrance that, much like the hearts of his other creations, cannot be compared to anything else.  The base retains the salty-sweetness of the heart, but the understated fig wood note smooths things out and allows the scent to live out its extended dry down in a form that's still sexy but much less dramatic.

If you're not into sillage, Womanity is definitely not for you. In fact, neither the sillage nor the lasting power leave anything to be desired – I sprayed it on myself early in the evening and could still smell it the next morning.

Everything about it sings autumn and winter to me just as richly as Angel and Innocent do, but with less spice and more sugar. I love the smell of fig, but find it's usually executed in a way that's perfectly pleasant but just a touch too dainty ( Guerlain's Aqua Allegoria Figue-Iris) , or with a cheap, heavy hand ( Bath and Body Works' Brown Sugar and Fig).

Womanity isn't cheap but it's not over-the-top expensive, and for a normal perfume user, even a 1.7 oz. bottle ( $78)  should last for quite some time. 

However, I still wish the ad campaign had been entirely different and it was named something I wasn't embarrassed to speak aloud, like maybe "Fig de la Mer" or "L'océan de la Figure" or even just, "Fig and Sea Spray." Really.

Angel was a big shit deal when it came out back in '92, and has managed to stay a big shit deal over the course of the past 18 years. I loved it as a teen and then moved on to other things – lesser things – and have recently rediscovered it thanks to Megan's recent obsession with it. There's nothing else on the market like it, and in fact, it's so distinctive that I thought I would have trouble wearing it again because the smell so intensely puts me in a specific time and place that it was actually a disorienting experience to put it on at all ( Yeah, you had your highlights, winters of '94 and '95, but I do NOT need to relive you ).  Eventually, smelling it so often built up a cache of envy that overpowered my need to be oriented anywhere in time, and now I am once again Angel's slave.

Angel is BIG. It is not for everyone. It is over-the-top, and it will absolutely overpower any perfume anyone within a 20 foot radius is wearing.  There are some qualities about it that are slightly gourmand, but it's not nearly as sweet as its notes would suggest.  It's spices and woods I smell in the end – it could almost be described as a sweet patchouli except that it has far more dimension. Although it's big and wild – or maybe because it's big and wild – it's absolutely a smell for the extravagantly rich and those who mingle with (but don't serve) them.

This stuff comes in just about every shape and size anyone has ever imagined, many of which are refillable. I would not be surprised to find that there is a special edition dodecohedron container in existence. Even at a discount, this stuff will cost you, but the lasting power Angel has is unmatched, which means you can get quite a bit of mileage even out of the classic .08 oz. star bottle.

Expect to pay anywhere between $30 – $165 depending on the shape, size and rarity of your bottle.

I didn't realize it until I received my sample  in the mail, but sometimes, especially as the weather gets cooler and the air starts smelling like chimneys and burning leaves, it suddenly becomes necessary to smell like a sexy humidor.  I'll be the first to admit that I didn't think a humidor could ever be something I aspired to smell like, and although Decadence and Debauchery is extremely androgynous (possibly even erring on the side of masculine), there is something insanely sensual and untamed about it.

Years ago, my work commute made it necessary to drive past a line of tobacco warehouses that, in the summertime, saturated the air with a heavy sweetness that gave me a head rush by simply breathing, regardless of whether my windows were up or down. 

I've tried many other tobacco themed perfumes and oils over the past year and a half and they never seem to get it quite right. When I would see tobacco listed as a fragrance note in a perfume, I imagined it would mirror the smell hovering around those old tobacco warehouses, but they never delivered, instead leaving me with the dank, lasting, odor of cheap, stale cigarettes. Not so with Decadence and Debauchery.  There's no head rush in this bottle, but the aroma of sweet tobacco is here, carefully balanced with vanilla bourbon. Hints of violet leaves, resin, blood orange and bergamot round it out and give it depth. 

It is my expert opinion that this fragrance smells almost entirely like Debauchery and only a tiny bit like Decadence. I adore it – though I must advise – you should sample it first because it's not for everyone.

The packaging is 100% recycled materials and the oil itself is made from 100% natural ingredients. Visit the "For Strange Women" Etsy shop and your very own 7mL bottle can be had for $20.

I'm going through a phase right now wherein I'm more obsessed than ever with finding new and exciting Etsy perfumers.  There are plenty of duds on Etsy, to be sure, but the ones that blow my mind more than make up for the hours I've spent in handmade vertigo.

My newest discovery? For Strange Women.  I've only just ordered my samples so I have yet to actually experience any of them in person, but her concept and packaging are suberb and curious, with "Forest & Victorian Era inspired" fragrances like Decadence and Debauchery  (notes listed are immortelle petals, resins, violet leaves, tobacco, vanilla bourbon, blood oranges, bergamot, and oponopax ) and Cleopatra ( a historical interpretation of what the Egyptian queen may have worn, including notes of sandalwood, cedarwood, ginger, lemongrass, roses and anise stars). She offers her fragrances as perfume oils as well single note solid perfumes that can be purchased in refillable scent lockets.

For Strange Women also offers a line of homemade, all natural lip balms packaged in tins that look as though they've arrived on this plane from the Victorian era by way of a time machine that runs on cordials and milk possets. Her "lip embellishments" are all natural and come in flavors that sound just as intriguing as her scented oils: Rosewood, Absinthe, Pine Cone, Poison Ivy, and Clove ( there was no way I was passing up the chance to try that one).  

Like the other Etsy perfumers, she offers a variety of sample pack choices ranging from $9-$27.

Once again it's a hot, humid day with no chance of rain here in my corner of the globe, but I am optimistic that global warming has not yet progressed to the point where autumn no longer exists, and am therefore waiting for the arrival of fall with a mixture of longing and enthusiasm. To help speed things along (in my mind, anyway) , I've already started making a list of perfumes from last fall's fragrance wardrobe that will definitely make the cut as well as auditioning new fragrances.

Rather than go to the mall and cram my pockets full of perfumed pieces of card stock and douse myself in one or more of the new perfume contenders, I've instituted a much better perfume auditioning system that allows me to sample things at my leisure, get an accurate picture of a what a particular fragrance smells like on its own (as opposed to mixed with the 10 other perfumes I've just inhaled), AND actually know the name of what I'm smelling ( instead of guessing which perfumed card I'm holding up to my nose).

It's quite simple really: I obtain samples.

However, contrary to popular belief, not every store that carries perfumes, not even (and sometimes especially) department stores, has samples on hand to give you. No, those ladies at the fragrance counters aren't being stingy bitches and hording the samples for themselves. It's that the actual fragrance companies just don't disseminate those little sample vials the way they used to. So where does one get samples these days?

1. SEPHORA

Truth be told, I hate the customer service at Sephora, but the fact is, if you can manage to flag down a salesperson, they will, at no cost, make and label a sample vial of whatever perfume(s) you're interested in trying. Drawbacks are that Sephora is often crowded, sales associates don't seem to enjoy making perfume samples, and you are limited to sampling from whatever that particular store's offering is. However, Sephoras are everywhere and you don't have to do this every day, so if you wake up one day feeling less like an ax murderer than usual, it's worth a jaunt. Just make sure you get at least 3 samples out of the whole fiasco.

2. NORDSTROM

Nordstrom, though known for its customer service, suffers from many of the same drawbacks as Sephora.  Nordstrom stores are also few and far between comparatively speaking, so depending on where you live, this may not be a realistic option for you. However, they do have a larger selection than Sephora in most cases, and if you become exasperated after collecting your perfume samples here, there's a shoe department to look forward to. Yeah, that's right. I just talked about perfume and shoes in the same paragraph. So what?  I have a period! I like flowers! Sometimes I purposely watch movies that I know will make me cry!  If you're judging me, you can stop right now, get your ass in the kitchen, and make me a cup of herbal tea.

3. THE INTERNET

Aaah. The internet.  My favorite! The internet's drawbacks is that the samples aren't free and you don't get any immediate gratification. However, you DO get to look forward to getting something exciting in the mail, and your choices are TOTALLY UNLIMITED!

Here are some sites to get you started:

LuckyScent

The thing I love about LuckyScent is that they have a niche, and that niche happens to be niche – niche fragrances, that is. LuckyScent is a website that peddles very expensive and hard to find perfumes. The coolest part? SAMPLES. Even if you never plan on buying a $135 bottle of Citizen Queen by Juliette Has a Gun, you can treat yourself to a $3 sample vial, no problem. They have a huge selection, and their sample prices range from $2-$10, all contingent upon how expensive the mother bottle is.

The Perfumed Court

You can literally get samples of whatever you want, in whatever size you want, and as many as you want from this web-based business specializing in samples and decants of rare, vintage, and exclusive fragrances – including perfumes that are otherwise only available outside of the U.S.! It's a small operation run by three fragrance enthusiasts born from a labor of love. Added bonus? They even have themed sample packs for those who want to experiment with a particular note, fragrance house, scent family, or any other category you can imagine, without having to do the research yourself. These ladies have done the research for you already. Prices range from $3 – $150+ depending on what you're in the market for.  Want a well-researched sampler pack containing 50 historical classics that span an entire century? Well, they have that.  Just need a vial of Guerlain's L'Heure Bleue? They have that too. 

Scented Monkey

The Scented Monkey website is your run-of-the mill, online store that sells discounted mainstream perfumes, but the difference is that you can get a sample of just about anything they sell for $2.99. 

3. ETSY

I'm giving Etsy it's own category for a reason: it's a storefront for a vast array of small and home perfumers that make amazing fragrances, most of which are cruelty-free, many of which are organic.  Their perfumes tend to be made in small batches, use quality ingredients, and reduce your chances of running into an evil smell twin by about a trillion. However, my favorite thing about all the Etsy perfumers is that they're EXTREMELY affordable, even though the oils and sprays offered are almost always made with better quality ingredients.

Some of my personal favorites are:

Wiggle Perfume

Complex, sexy perfumed oils with hard-to-resist vintage packaging are only part of why I love this shop so much. This girl is not afraid to experiment, and she also understands something that's extremely important to me: I usually wear perfume for sex appeal. You can sample any of her perfume oils for $1.50 a pop. My personal favorites are Sakura and Penelope, but I've got 10 more samples on the way to my house right now so that could change by next week.

Alkemia Apothecary and Perfumery

This perfumer offers an ever rotating selection of unique fragrance oils inspired by foods, spices, herbs, flowers and incense. If you're into earthier smells, you're bound to find something you love here. You can get a 3 pack of samples for $10, but if you buy a bottle of her oil for $12, she usually throws a few samples in anyway, so you might as well spring for something that sounds good. It's worth the risk. My favorites have been Seduction Cacao and Vert sur le Vert ( it's exactly what you'd smell if you took a deep breath after a faceplant in the middle of a dewy meadow), but again, I've got new ones en route, so who knows what my favorites will be in a few days?

Wylde Ivy

Affordable, huge selection, a smell for almost every olfactory itch you can think of, and for $15 you can get 10 sample vials of your choice. She currently has a separate category for fall-inspired scents, which I only just noticed this very moment and now I'm going to wrap up this very long blog entry so I can go obtain some of those.

Go forth and obtain samples, and by go forth, I really just mean go to a different website that has perfume samples to offer you!

( Oh, one more thing: don't forget about the September Giveaway. So far no one has entered so it's like shooting fish in a barrel at this point. That's how that euphemism goes, right? Shooting fish in a barrel? That's weird, huh? )

Here in the south it might be a sweltering 94°F with a heat index of 100°F and a humidity level you could swim in — but it's still the end of summer. The end of summer means the beginning of fall, and with the beginning of fall comes a slew of new fall fragrances. Not all of them have been released yet, but some of them have, and one of those is "Dark Kiss" from the ubiquitous body product giant, Bath and Body Works.

I grabbed a preview sample of the lotion earlier this month to even out an exchange I was making and initially threw it right into my box of "boxed fragrances" – i.e. shit I'm never going to use.

Why so dismissive, you ask? It's not because I'm too good for Bath & Body Works, because I'm not (and neither are you). It's because the name of the fragrance is "Dark Kiss" which, in addition to last year's "Twilight Woods" release, is another thinly veiled play on a naming device created to appeal to fans of the Twilight series – i.e. not me. I'll admit it – I have a weakness for vampire fiction, but I seem to be one of about ten people on earth who think Bella's a stupid bitch and vegan vampires are for pussies.  

Eventually I did get around reading the description for Dark Kiss and thought the notes sounded nice, so I gave it a try, and what do you know? I liked it! Dark Kiss is a fruity floral, but it's a dark fruity floral with an ambery finish. It's top notes include incense, plum and blackberry, while the heart contains amber, rose, geranium and peony, with a base of vanilla, labdanum, vetiver, and musks. I would definitely define it as a cool weather fragrance best suited for nighttime, but I'm also not the perfume police so you can wear it whenever you want.  It's sexy but casual, distinct but inoffensive, and sweet without being cloying.

Because it's a Bath & Body Works product it's cruelty-free ( which means no animal testing – at least according to Peta's standards. Yay for baby bunnies!) and it's affordable enough to purchase at retail. But why buy it when you could get it for free by entering September's giveaway? Here's the deal:

The Prize:

A brand new, full sized bottle of the Dark Kiss EDT and a full-size bottle of the matching lotion. ( That's a $40 value. Your love is worth exactly $40 to me, people. )

The Protocol:

You'll get one entry for each of the following actions:

1. "Like"  How to Smell a Whale on Facebook ( If you're already a Facebook fan, don't worry. That counts too!)

2. Follow How to Smell a Whale on Twitter. ( If you're already a follower, that counts too!)

3. Add How to Smell a Whale to your RSS feed.  ( If you're already subscribed, don't worry. That counts too!)

4. Link to How to Smell a Whale in any capacity from your website, blog, Facebook page, Twitter stream, or sex cam chat room. You get one entry for every link I can verify!

5. Post a comment on this entry letting me know which of the above 3 steps you've done, and then tell me what smells instantly make you think of fall. They can be perfumes, but they don't have to be – they can be any smell at all.

You will also get an additional entry for every comment you contribute to a blog post throughout the month. The comment has to be an actual contribution and can't just say "shit" or "boobs" unless it turns out those single word comments do actually add to the discussion, which, on this blog, is entirely possible.

At the end of the giveaway, a winner will be chosen at random. The more entries you've got, the better your chances of winning. The giveaway starts today and ends September 28th. The winner will be announced on September 29th.

Don't screw it up!

That was long hiatus, right? Was your life ruined? My life was ruined. Well, not ruined-ruined, but not having a full-fledged public outlet for all my thoughts, notes, observations, hopes, fears, love and loathing for all things fragrance was, in it's own way, a hell for a perfume-loving, moderately attention seeking writer like myself.

But here's the thing. This site is FIXED. The archives work and are organized in a fashion that's actually usable, the pagination on the homepage is no longer broken, and I got rid of the links to blogs I only read sporadically but felt obliged to list because they were perfume related and replaced them with links to things I actually, genuinely love. Are you disappointed? Were you actually here looking for links to other perfume blogs? Awesome! That's what Google's for!

The nature of How to Smell a Whale's content is the same: this is a perfume blog written for non-pretentious perfume lovers and for people who are not really that into perfume…yet.

I have a lot of shit I've been wanting to write about, so you'll be getting a brain-full over the coming days and weeks, including interviews with my favorite home perfumers ,truths, myths, and opinions about perfume toxicity and its sudden, frequent visibility in the media, as well as information about new releases and cruelty free perfumes for those who'd rather not melt the eyes out of bunnies' heads in the name of fragrance.

OH. One more thing. My comment section is, for the moment, SPAM-proof and you do NOT have to register to comment. YAAAAY!  Do you have a topic you'd like to see more of or a perfume-related question you'd like answered but would rather not put the energy into searching for it on the Internet yourself? PERFECT! Leave a comment. Go ahead. Do it! I'm your perfume writing genie! MAKE A DAMN WISH, ALREADY!

This fresh, straightforward floral is an obvious and intelligent attempt on EL's part to appeal to the younger perfume buying crowd. I have a lot of childhood scent memories associated with various Lauder classics, but of all their perfumes, ( not counting the limited edition, no-longer-in-production "Brasil Dream") Pleasures Bloom is the only one I find worthy enough to make space for on my own dresser. I even bought the big bottle, which retails for around $74. However, once again, since we're on the verge of fall, I recommend buying the smaller, 1.7 oz bottle for $52 instead. As lovely as this fragrance is, it's definitely not meant for cold weather.